do you remember this?

*this is from my old diaryland.com blog...eons ago...lol...but the feeling never dies...i posted this to see if [you] would remember... thank you for always being in my corner...it means so much to me...

Saturday, Jan. 04, 2003 - 9:10 p.m.

Have you ever had true passion for someone??? Not like sexual passion, lust, or infatuation...but passion to know more about them??

Passion for their mind?? Passion for their heart?? Passion for their soul??

Would you endure the unthinkable just to fulfill that passion?? Would you give up everything you were just to be by their side, because it means so much??

Would you allow your passion to fuel their passion to know more about you??

When you find your answers, will you let your passion die?? Would your quest be fulfilled...or are the possibilities of passion endless??

Have you ever sat and thought about what your true passions were?? Or how to go about quenching this hunger??

My passion is to know everything I can and more about you...I never knew that there was someone out there almost exactly like me...When I look at your pictures, in your eyes, I see my reflection...It's almost like a small piece of me was hidden inside of you, patiently waiting for our paths to cross...In a past life, we were destined to meet again...I was once your Osiris, and you my Isis...Overcoming every obstacle, victorious in every battle, doing the undoable...A valiant king, with you, my beautiful queen, by my side...Sitting at my right hand with the world under at our feet...And now...


I sit here wondering why sometimes I lose sight of the big picture...I settle for things that I know aren't good for me...and often times I push the important things and people to the back of my mind...Forgetting their importance in my life...forgetting the true meaning of their worth...All for what?? Lust...living out an imaginary life, with an imaginary wife who never loved me to begin with, only to end up with me heartbroken and beating myself up because of it...Insolence clouded my mind...my true perception of people and things was altered...I lost my PASSION for you...All the plans I had made wiped out by a caress that wasn't even true to me...And now...


I sit here wanting to say to much to you...but we haven't talked in so long, how would that make me look?? desperate?? alone?? needy?? My lack of communication has me sitting here writing in this diary now...No need in wallowing in my own self pity...The only thing to do now is make it better...to right the wrong within myself...But...


You probably forgot about me...moved on with your life...you probably think that the smile on the countenance that once admired your strength, your intelligence, your beauty, your elegance is just another "one of those types"...You probably found yourself in a love greater than what I could give you...Fulfilling your every want, your every desire...And now...


Here I am...wondering what could have been...searching for answers to my many questions...Like


Do you ever find yourself thinking about me from time to time??

Do you ever wonder if I'm thinking about you??

Could you see yourself being with someone like me??

What are your passions??

Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?? 10 years??

What inspires you to write??

What do you write about??

How long does it take you to get ready for work or school or to go out??

What keeps a smile on your face??

What's your favorite food??


And so forth...I think about you...I know it's hard to believe, but I do...Trying to do all my research and answer my own questions...fulfill my own passions...sometimes I do, mostly I don't for the one, simple, underlying factor...


My passion is you...